Can you recommend some trees?
All those you mention are wonderful trees. Ilex opaca can be pruned heavily. In fact, pruning or shearing will keep the tree full. It is one of the few trees I recommend shearing. You can also cut it back heavily every five years or so. It can get very large if you don't. I have also seen Cornus kousa heavily pruned to keep it small. With proper selection, the Japanese maple (Acer palmatum) will stay fairly small. All of these are excellent suggestions and will do well in this area. You can find more by search PHS’s Gold Medal Plants database of plants suitable for growing in the Mid-Atlantic region.